Protection from Financial Elder Abuse | Elder Care ABC

by Janice Wallace
Protecting your parent from financial elder abuse is an important parent care responsibility. This type of abuse robs your parent of her money and her freedom because money equals choice when it comes to elder care services. Financial elder abuse is defined as a person taking an elder’s money or property for his/her own needs.
Abusers sometimes use threats of abandonment or make the elder feel guilty to convince the elder to turn the control of assets over to them. Sometimes, “feel good” tactics are used. The abuser befriends a lonely senior in person or over the phone or taps into greed by convincing the senior that he has won a prize."

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Alzheimer's Reading Room: Help on the Way for Sandwich Generation Caregivers ?

By Bob DeMarco


This week the Middle Class Task Force unveiled a series of initiatives in the President's 2011 budget that are aimed at helping the so-called 'sandwich generation' and others.

Millions of Americans provide unpaid care to aging relatives – including approximately 23 million caregivers with jobs and 12 million who are also caring for their own children. That's why the Middle Class Task Force’s 'squeeze' initiative includes help for family caregivers.

'AARP is grateful that the Middle Class Task Force has drawn attention to an issue that is deeply important to our members—the critical role of family caregivers and what we should be doing to help them. Approximately 65 million Americans provide care to a loved one, giving more than $375 billion worth of unpaid care each year—often at their own financial and emotional expense. Increasing support to these invaluable individuals would be an important step to help those who do so much to help others.' -- Elinor Ginzler, AARP"

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How to Deal With Aging Parents | Elder Care ABC

How to Deal With Aging Parents Elder Care ABC: "How to Deal With Aging Parents

Statistics show that people are living longer and longer. The age that people live to has grown dramatically in the past 20 years. Because people are living longer there is usually greater need for assistance as we age. In the majority of households the assistance that seniors receive usually comes from their children.
In many families seniors never imagined that they might need assistance from the children. Likewise, many children of aging parents never thought that they would be assisting their parents as they age. Sometimes, this children assisting parent role reversal can lead to conflicts for the children and the parents. Because of this, many children want to know how to deal with aging parents"

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Celebrating the Holidays with Alzheimers

As families prepare to celebrate the Christmas and New Years holidays, the question of how to deal with a family member's Alzheimers disease often arises. Particularly with the stress, change in routine, additional people and a host of related things, many seniors, and especially those suffering from Alzheimer's disease often find getting through the holidays to be challenging. To say nothing of how challenging it can be for family caregivers as well.

If you are wondering how best to help your aging parent to cope with the holidays...or are wondering how best to cope yourself, following are a few good suggestions, adapted from the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health.

1. Try to keep to a routine. Seniors, and especially Alzheimer's patients, do best when things are the same as much as possible. Make life a bit less stressful on everyone by trying to, for example, have meals at the same time that the senior is used to.
2. You can encourage these folks with their memory by always introducing yourself...no matter your relation....and update them with some of the latest things in your life, so that they don't have to struggle to remember. Whatever you do, never say "Do you know who I am?" as that just reinforces to the person what they do, in many cases, already realize: that they have trouble remembering.
3. Involve them in simple activities that they can easily do and feel a part of: folding napkings or putting bows on a package. One activity that my mom was always very good at was wrapping all the ornaments on the tree when we took down all the decorations at the end of the holiday.
4. If you are not the primary caregiver, please give the greatest gift you possibly can give that person: the gift of some time. Offer to spend time with mom or dad, so that the primary caregiver can get out to do some shopping, get a manicure, or have a relaxing dinner. Normal stress on a caregiver is magnified tenfold during the holidays.

The holiday season while a season of joy, can often be anything but for those who struggle with caring for an aging parent, especially if that parent has Alzheimer's disease or another debilitating illness. For more information and thoughts on this, you can read the entire article from the University of Wisconsin here.

Best wishes for an enjoyable holiday season creating special family times and memories with your aging parent.

Holiday Gift Ideas for Seniors

It's that time of year, and if you have any seniors on your holiday list this year, you may be scratching your head about what to get them.

It can be challenging to buy a gift for an aging family member, especially if they are in an assisted living home, or have alzheimer's or some other sort of dementia.

Here are a few quick ideas that I found to be especially useful, as I did my shopping for my mom in years past:

1. If your elderly loved on is in an assisted living facility, check with the director or caregivers there, as they often have suggestions based on how the residents' daily routine goes. Please don't just show up with food, drink, or sweets, until you know for sure that Mom or Dad can have them. Many things can interfere with medication.
2. Take a look at the "little things" like socks, slippers, bed clothes, undergarments etc. as they are used frequently and wear out quickly. Socks especially will get lost.
3. Consider a little basket of personal items like lotions, brush and comb, perhaps nail polish if Mom can still do her own nails (or even better, do them for her).
4. Small games that you can play with your loved one. Card games can be especially great...but take the time to play with Mom and Dad. Puzzles can be especially good, especially if he/she is an alzheimer's patient: look for simple ones that you would get for a toddler, with large shapes, and easily recognizable items.
5. See if the activities center needs anything! Many times the activities director is always looking for new items/games that all the residents can enjoy. Consider helping everyone that lives with your loved one.

Other things to consider, whether mom and dad are at home or in a facility, are things like books, framed pictures (can really get the conversation going!), and even scrapbooking supplies (but plan time to do this with your senior, as it is a wonderful memory-making activity).

For more ideas, especially if your aging family member is high-functioning, be sure to read this excellent article from the Aging In Place Technology Watch.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Approaching the Holidays with your Aging Parents

I read an interesting article earlier this week that prompted this week's blog post. Here is an excerpt: 

According to the National Family Caregivers Association, nearly three-fourths of adults surveyed have not started researching senior care for their parents and are not thinking about it. Without a plan in place, many families are forced to make difficult decisions under stressful circumstances when an emergency arises.

An important first step for families involves having a serious conversation to help determine the needs of their aging parents and the tasks that need to be completed to implement a proactive plan.

I thought this was a particularly timely thought, given that the holidays are approaching, and for many families, it is often the first time that they have "seen" Mom and Dad in quite a while. When family members don't have the chance to interact with their aging parents on a daily/weekly basis, it is not unusual to notice some stark changes in their elderly family members when they finally get together over holiday meals.

It is not a coincidence then, that many assisted living facilities find that one of their busiest days of the year, in terms of inquiries and appointments, is the day after Thanksgiving. Many folks, concerned about the changes they see in their aging parents, realize over their turkey and sweet potatoes, that Mom and Dad need help.

And even if you do see your parents on a regular basis, the questions and conversations about their needs, and care need to happen way before things become an emergency. It can be challenging however, to first of all, even have that conversation. And then once you do start, to make sure that it occurs in a loving and caring fashion.

For some suggestions on how to talk about this with your aging parents, and the types of things you should be discussing, you can read the rest of this every interesting...and helpful...blog post here.

When Family Caregivers for the Elderly Feel They Have no Options

I read a blog post yesterday that simply broke my heart.

It seems that an elderly couple in Washington state were recently found dead, as the result of an apparent murder/suicide. Evidently the woman, who suffered from Alzheimer's disease, had recently been released from the hospital, and her husband, who was her caregiver, was so completely overwhelmed with her care, that he felt there was no solution to their problem but to take both of their lives. All of their financial papers had been laid out nearby by him, prior to taking their lives.

This story is so sad on so many levels, but the one that spoke to me the loudest was that the man felt he had no options left. The article did not mention whether there were children or any family nearby, or involved in their care. But the depression and despondency of family caregivers for the elderly...especially for Alzheimer's patients...is well documented.

The reality of situations such as these, is that there ARE options for help out there, despite what caregivers are feeling. They don't have to do it all alone. But often, they don't get help. Why? The difficulty is often two-fold:

1. They don't know where to look
2. They need to know that it is ok to ask for help.
   

Regarding where to look, the local Department of Aging is an excellent place to start. Community Senior Centers also often offer programs, both social as well as support groups. If you have an elderly family member with Alzheimers or some other sort of dementia, look for local support groups through national organizations. Many assisted living facilities, senior communities, nursing homes, and even hospitals also offer classes, support groups, and information intended to help support the elderly and their caregivers.

What if your aging parent needs more help? There are some wonderful in-home care businesses, such as Senior Helpers, that can provide companion or personal care for the elderly, in their home. Businesses such as Senior Helpers will assist in placing an in-home caregiver for as little as a few hours a day or week, or as much as 24/7. Whether a few hours or many, this can be much-needed help for both the senior, as well as for their caregiver.

Unfortunately, convincing aging parents to accept the help can be a challenge. But we need to make sure that we do this for our elderly loved ones, so that we can avoid more tragic situations like the one in Washington.