One of the most challenging aspects of adult children caring for their aging parents, is when siblings don't agree. Often it is because one adult child has the primary responsibility, and the rest, due to distance, or other issues, simply don't know all the details of caring for Mom or Dad. But other times, the conflict arises from sibling issues that have existed since childhood.
Whatever the reason, family conflict is not uncommon when dealing with eldercare. AgingParents.com has some thoughts on how to deal with it:
Imagine this. Your aging parent took a fall. You get the long distance phone call. Mom is in the hospital. Suddenly, you and your siblings have to talk together, as Mom will need help when she returns home after rehabilitation. Who will watch over her care at home? Who will decide how to pay for her care? Who’s in charge, anyway?
These scenarios are all too common and growing more so. Whether our aging parent has planned ahead or not, the adult children have a new responsibility thrust on us. Sometimes, siblings are scattered across the country. Sometimes, even if they live in the same area, they don’t get along. It’s an uncomfortable feeling trying to make decisions with siblings we don’t trust, and maybe never did.
(I’ve certainly experienced this in my own family!)
Family fights can turn an already stressful situation into a nightmare. I’ve known this stress personally. But, there is something we can do about it. It’s called elder mediation.
The concept may sound odd to some. Many think of mediation as a thing to use for labor disputes or international peacemaking. But mediation can be used at home with families, too. Elder mediation is emerging as a way to address issues in families and with institutions about the care of elders and the conflicts among and with their caregivers. The issues are often about money, control, and the work of caring for aging loved ones.
You can read the rest of the article here.
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